Over the past four weeks I have religiously followed a routine and nutrition plan in a committed effort to build mass. However, I must honestly confess that I am quite disappointed in my current progress. I entered this project with a start weight of 150 and I am currently cut/dry at 164.3. Documenting my status, it appears that I am successfully en route towards meeting my goal of 175. Nevertheless, in immature and youthful aspiration, I expect and desire for more visible progress.

My diet consists of 2700 to 3000 calories. The intake is comprised of complex whole grain carbohydrates, lean proteins, 5-7 servings of fruits and vegetables, 4 servings of fat-free/reduced yogurt. It seems that every 1.5 to 2 hours, I am forcing down another meal.

To couple with my calorie consumption, I also have integrated supplementation to assist in my project. Supplementation is as follows:

Las Vegas

Nothing has been made official at the moment. I do believe I am on the brink of accepting an offer to move to Las Vegas.

it's glad to see you again.

i wish it were easy to convince myself that my collegiate life has reached a conclusion. i'd like to think that i have manged to escape the often staged "dog and pony" show of mascarading plaques.

the fact is, my collegiate life is well subject to criticism and comparison. the ever occasional "so and so" is applying/entering grad, med, and doctorate program/study. it has become banter riddled and laced with redundancy. the "you are so much smarter than so and so", apparently overshadows the degree of accomplishment, satisfaction, and content i have already grasped.

through outside perception, my attempts at completion apparently hinge on the happiness of others. so i bend whim, i continue to allow others to dabble in and renounce my current accomplishments in their self determined view of "better-ment".

i really could care less if "so and so" is applying for a doctorate's program, i really do not feel lesser when "so and so" has just been accepted to the master's program at "said university." i really, honestly, do not give a fuck.

does such action warrant the criticism of my current state? how must one succeed the successors? apparently i don't understand my own potential, or perhaps i have to earn my "professionalism" and "perceived scholar" status via the acquisition of "said degree."

oh, i know deep down....i too would love to earn another degree. but the criticism of "loved ones" seem to manipulate a dream to turn heel, it sours me to strive.

so i'll throw my money away on the expectations of others...when really it was the "best" for me. oh i get it, i'll forget the "happiness" i have right now, and deem it as "youthful apprehension and disillusion."

i'll be going back to school for another degree in the summer. i have no intention on using the degree. i am quite happy with my current situation and look forward to the potential i have before me.

i'll let them parade around the paper, listen to the "see i told you so" crowd, and when i get that degree....it might as well be a scratch piece of paper. i'll use it  to write down the list  of the "said critics", it will be a list of people i should ignore.

sincerely,

"moldable pedigree"

have you ever imagined your coordinate point in space and time? the whole definition to your existence can be determined by what you deem as your "purpose."

for whatever may be, at one time or another, along a spatial plane...we find ourselves constantly asserting towards a preconceived destination.

should points intersect, in what state would we find ourselves. i'm sure we can search for a degree of solace in a supernatural being. do we seek such a pseudo-euphoria, where is this refuge in the sky that you speak of?

do we weigh our existence through the teachings of age-old text? do you find that morality is derived from religion or credit society and upbringing?

although i've never been a fan of organized relgions, derived sects, monotheism, and polytheism....i remain curious into your association with "god" and/or "gods".

some say they find proof of existence through the works of others, yet i see only the existence of independent thought and decision. such freedoms, i feel, are not granted or monitored by a spiritual being. i feel that for every credit that goes to a higher power, it plays as a degenerative cog in our own well evolved ability.

inotherwords, as a human race, we de-evolve when we fail to recognize and celebrate ourselves. i know these words are laden with bias, i must admit...an atheist mind is the only culprit contribution to this entry.

however, i find that religion is often accompanied by conflict. how can one create rule on society by way of religion? christianity may be an outright majority, but it does not best represent nor further progress society. such a logic can illustrate: "i'm not christian, why should i follow law derived from scripture and christian thought?"

regardless of what our nation was founded upon, how can we exist as a free society by eliminating the voices of so many who choose not to identify with religion? how can we override humanity by choosing to live within heavily revised and dated text that does not best reflect our current state?

i starve to belong, i would love to discover, but sometimes...religion just breeds hate and elitism.

somewhere out in this world, there is a young male who scours the shelves seeking out what he will soon discover as false hope. somewhere out in this very world, there is a young male so starved for sexual attention.

marketing research groups are paid millions by various ad agencies to play wing to the wanton desires of young frustrated males.

oh, let me assist you...undiscovered sex machine. let me mold you from sweatpant-clad to designer fashion chic, let me assist you in arousing the pheromones of young scantilly clad minxes.

the end result?: BOD, AXE, and TAG. all are "one syllable" words because "cavemen" can't process anything more complex.

BOD: apparently men like to mist their body in such "athletic and aggressive" fragrances via a windex bottle. "hot bod, cool bod, check out that bod, B-O-D for me." not only is this commercial banter marred by contradiction, it's quite...well, "old lonely mother attraction."

excuse me miss...let me cover my chisled body in "fresh blue musk (actual scent)." what the fuck is "fresh blue musk?" how can "musk" be "fresh?" how in the fuck is.....damn it, i understand the "blue" as gender-specific color marketing, but you can't smell "musk" and "fresh" at the same damn time.

AXE & TAG: these can be coupled together, because both are very similar. the appearance is much more subtle, a sleek black barrelled can aerosol. such commercials depict a male's axe/tag scent trail to trigger horny endorphine rushes in their female counterparts.

with cheeky product names like "phoenix", "gravity", "lucky day", and "first move", how could a female not resist a pheromone triggering body mister.

what does "phoenix" smell like?: again i know this is all marketing, but since we are dealing with "one syllable" cavemen...they must believe they smell of a mythical bird.

what does "first move" smell like?: i am assuming "lipsmackers" and "semi-hards"(assuming it emits a smell, i didn't know it did...then again, cologne is meant to cover).

what does "lucky day" smell like?: lube?!? spermicide?!? sex?!? ass?!? what is that smell, you smell of "budussy"...you smell fantastic!